Having The Talk With My Daughter
- J. Chatfield
- Apr 6, 2023
- 3 min read
If you don't know. You don't know.
On a recent shopping trip with my children, I noticed that my daughter was being very agitated with her brothers. They were being their usual selves and I honestly just tuned them out. They weren't tearing up the store, but they were asking for things and slightly pushing each other. Well, my daughter wasn't having it. She was on them like white on rice and with every " Stop playing", "Stop laughing". I looked at her with wide eyes.
At first, I was thinking that she is always in mom mode. We make the joke at our house that she is the momma, and I am just here to make sure everybody lives at the end of the day. This is not something I told her she should be. She is just a natural leader and loves to make sure everyone is alright despite her "me first" attitude 100% of the time.
As we approached the end of our shopping trip, I told the boys to go to the toy aisle and pick out a hot wheel’s car. While they were gone, I leaned in close to her and explained why she was irritated.
I told her that when a woman is close or in the fullness of their cycle. People become irritating to them. And when you began to feel like everything they do and say is hard to be around. You need to remove yourself from the situation or there can be irreparable damage. She looked at me, at first with a "what now" look. Then after I said what I said her face soften as if she was saying " You get me".
Of course, I get you! This is why I go into my room and shut the door when I feel irritated. When I was younger no one explained why I felt the way I felt around the time of my cycle. I wish someone had told me that it was okay to want to be alone and that it wasn't anyone’s business to look at me like I did something wrong. I went on to tell her that I will deal with the boys and that she should walk behind us with the cart.
She nodded and I did just as I said. When we got home, I sent the boys outside and she enjoyed some time alone. Please let this alone time karma come back when I need it!
It has been really challenging during these 18 months to live in 1,000sqft. We moved from a 2,300sqft house to become landlords and build the portfolio by living in and then renting out the properties. We are all so grateful for the sacrifice and what it will do for our grandchildren and great-great grandchildren. Buuuuut we are so ready to have our spaces for alone time and our larger space for family and friends’ time.
Even though we overly love each other, I try to give myself and my children the time they need to be alone and to know when this alone time is needed. I also told my daughter that anytime she needs to be alone to tell me instead of picking apart everything her brothers are doing. I am grateful for these moments and that I have the time and awareness to teach my children awareness.
IF YOU HAVE TIME, CHECK OUT OUR PODCAST FEATURING CHILDREN READING TO CHILDREN
Comentários