Awareness Of Relationships

Awareness is one of the greatest tools you can acknowledge in your human experience. It will allow you to live a blame-free life. I am a big advocate of teaching your children this valuable tool at a young age. So that they know when they are triggered that it is a sign, they need to reflect on themselves. And that whatever that situation is, it is there to help them evolve into the person they need to be to acomplish their mission/purpose.

I wasn't taught this growing up. I wasn't taught to blame someone. I wasn't taught to go handle the situation. I wasn't really taught anything about the conflict that is triggered from the outside and how it affects the conflict within. I know my parents did not know how to express this themselves let alone teach me.

One of the things we don't understand fully is the rolls of relationships in our lives. When we are in the elementary school age and under, friendships are organic and come together through play and discovery. When we hit the middle school stage, we are starting to feel the relationships out a little more. Literally we are attracted to who feels right in your space and become friends with them or not. Here is where those relationship began to test us.

You will start to move from organic friendships to more of an attraction friendship. How many of you picked your friends in middle school? Ask yourself why? I know it may have been a time ago , but there is plenty relevance and contribution to the person you are today. Because in High School, your independence takes over and you begin to be even more picky about your friends, or not.

If before you began your elementary and high school years. Your parent or guardian stood at the door before you walked pass them on your way to school and said:

Alright, go in that school and pick the friends that will help your grow! I know you can do it! Your trauma work depends on it"!

How would you look at relationships for the remainder of your life?

I don't blame you for feeling slighted on the relationship information. Many of us have gotten the short end of no explanation as to why relationship build up and break down are an important part of our lives. At what age did you find out about the importance of relationships? When I did finally got the 411 on relationships. I went back and analyzed each relationship of significance; you know the ones that you will NEVER forget. I added up all the variables and came out with the pieces to who I am building today.

From now on I view all the relationships in my life differently because I know what to ask when I encounter something difficult or wonderful. My questions to myself are:

What is my lesson?

What do I need to give in this time?

What do I need to allow in this time?

Why does this make me feel ...?

There may be more, and we will get to the more in the next blog post.

To be continued............In " Trigger Happy"

If you havent had a chance to pick up my book yet. it is available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Shadow-Trauma-Work-Journal-Workbook/dp/B0BMXWC2B5/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1OCEIHW12ADUK&keywords=j+chatfield&qid=1679948916&sprefix=j+chatfie%2Caps%2C114&sr=8-1