Thou Shalt Not Smile

First off, I want to thank my higher self for being patient with me un this time of transformation. This is truly a worthwhile journey and I hope whoever is reading this chose YOU. Chose YOU everyday for the rest of your life.

So many moons ago I hated taking pictures. Why? Because I wanted to be some one that I had not transformed my mind to be. I wanted to not have a double chin when I smiled. I wanted my stomach to look like there wasn't an apron sink sitting on my thighs. I wanted my pictures to make me look beautiful....... even though I felt like the poo emoji. Even though I thought like the poo emoji. I keep looking back in regret on how I robbed my children and I of great memories. I made my inner-security so unstable that I cause me to stop enjoying me.

I mean, I would go into a full panic attack if someone even came close with a camera. My children would ask me to join the picture, but I would politely snap at them and push them in front of the camera. Everything I just said would flood into my mind and I would just confirm to those little big things that took so much joy out of creating memories.

I cannot say I fully enjoy taking pictures now, but I can say I realize that taking pictures helps increase my confidence and live in a joyous state. While on my recent vacation, I let go of thinking so much about what bothered me, and more about capturing the journey.

About a month ago I started back caring about me a little more so much so that I carved out time tofior myself. Time for me to pay attention to what I was putting in my body and how I deal with my day in being with preteens and a teen all day.

My husband paid for a year's membership to a gym that has hydrotherapy, a sauna, and a very relaxing environment to work on my thinking. So now, after putting in a work and sitting with myself. I take more pictures, smile more in my pictures. And post them for you to see the journey. Yeah I still hesitate, but I know this process is helping me to smile more though this journey. It is helping me to love my life on purpose and show you that you are not the only one that made up rules to dodge taking pictures of yourself.

If I can give you a little advice ( because you asked). No one cares or hate or love or has a stronger opinion of YOU than YOU. We don't need anyone to tell us what we have already evaluated ourselves . We don't need someone to comment or validate the wrinkles , dents, blemishes, creases, or any other topical display. We do enough of it before the whole word can even get a glimpse of a picture or video of us. But I will ask you one question.

What fulfills you?

What experiences do you want to experience?

What are you adding to your life by not doing the things that make you happy?

Why do you love your smile?

What is right with showing wrinkles?

I know I said one question but 5 questions popped in my head.

I think we have mastered stinking thinking. I mean, the world teaches us how to do that exquisitely and fools us into thinking that everyone else has a sniper scope set on picking us apart. Trust me, there are more people serving themselves on a meat platter picking themselves apart. That they don't have time to notice your wonderful smile and cute dimples. That you so horribly hide.

I could go on about this topic. Spend some tIme today looking in the mirror and falling in love with one thing that stops you from appreciating your beautiful/handsome self. You are made uniquely and wonderful and awesome, and carefully, and so many other great things. Don't let your misunderstanding of uniqueness stop you from smiling and loving YOURSELF to smile.😍😍😍😍😍😁😁😁

J. Chatfield