Loving Yourself to Life: Allowing Life To Be Good To You Part 1
- J. Chatfield
- Apr 19
- 6 min read
There’s Power in Starting Somewhere
I was up at 3:00 am this morning and was prompted to watch a video on YouTube. It was about a man who had an NDE( Near Death Experience) twice. He had an NDE twice because the first time was an awakening to knowing himself. The second time was a warning. There was something so captivating about this interview that I listened to it three times and took mental notes. The video discussed thoughts that I had been dealing with concerning illnesses and why we have illnesses. From my understanding, we're not supposed to have illnesses. Illnesses were brought about because we had lost the connection to our true selves. We needed an inner compass to bring us to a point of listening and to get in alignment with our creative purpose. Some people get the message and others never take the time to get the message and apply the accountability to change. The person in the video only changed for a little while but fell right back into submission to the illness. The second time he got it right because the message to him was to fully love himself and allow the universe to take care of him. His overall message was to allow life to be good to us.
This blog will have multiple parts, because healing and growth takes time. And if you're at the beginning, that’s okay. Everyone needs a first step. Everyone needs to unlearn habits and begin again.
Here’s something I’ve discovered: when you learn to love yourself without comparing yourself to others, everything changes—not just financially or emotionally, but spiritually and mentally.
The journey of self-love begins with a simple, yet profound realization: you need more love—for yourself. That awareness is the very first step. It’s like a whisper from within saying, "There’s more to life than how you’ve been living—and it starts with loving you."
Step 1: Awareness
You must first recognize that more self-love is needed in your life.
Step Two: Facing the Wounds That Call You Home
Now, let’s talk about what I believe is the hardest part of the journey: recognizing the traumas that shaped your experiences. These aren’t just painful moments—they’re spiritual signposts calling you back to yourself. These wounds were never meant to destroy you. They were meant to redirect you to the one person who can truly heal you: you.
This step can be long. It can feel heavy and lonely. But inside this step is where two things are born: self-awareness and accountability. And that’s where real healing begins.
If you’ve been conditioned to believe that everything happening to you is someone else’s fault, then accountability will feel foreign—and maybe even harsh and unfair. You might want to resist it. But accountability isn’t about blame. It’s about power. It's about realizing that once you take responsibility for your life, you reclaim the authority to change it.
Step Three: Self-Mastery
Only after walking through self-awareness and accountability can you reach self-mastery. And yes, it may take a lifetime. But every step toward loving yourself deeply and fully is worth it. Because once you arrive at that place of deep love and truth, your journey becomes a testimony. A song. A story. A calling. Your healing becomes someone else’s inspiration.
Erasing the Lie of Comparison
Many people would be in a better place—mentally, spiritually, even financially—if we weren’t constantly comparing ourselves to others. If we could love ourselves exactly as we are, without measuring against someone else’s timeline or highlight reel, we’d be so much freer.
Here are the questions that came up in the video.
Are you happy with the life you are living?
Are you being your true self?
Do you feel good about who you are?
Do you appreciate who you are?
Have you expressed how you truly feel about the people in your life?
Do you feel that if you should leave your physical body today you have lived your purpose?
These are questions that we should be asking ourselves daily and then once deposited into our subconscious mind it's something that we live daily. You can absolutely invite God into these questions. This isn’t about Religion—it’s about truth, healing, and alignment, no matter where you are or where your faith lies.
Gratitude Produce Happy
I'm always telling people, especially the ones that are around me, that they are special. They are unique. They are loved. And how much I appreciate them. I'm grateful because that's how I feel. That's who I am. I was not always living and speaking in gratitude. I knew how to appreciate people from my upbringing, but to say it was just------weird. Besides, no one was living in gratitude around me. I came into the body grateful! I had to learn to appreciate the person that I was made to be. I don't apologize for who I am anymore. I am a positive person. I've always been a person that uplifts people. I just needed to own and love my individuality.
Becoming Who I’ve Always Been
Being the person people turned to when they needed to talk about love, relationships, and everything in between. For a long time, I carried that role naturally—until I didn’t want to anymore. Somewhere along the way, I started questioning, What am I doing? Who am I doing this for? And most importantly, Where is this leading me?
It felt like I had a yard full of scattered leaves—gifts, wisdom, insight—but no bag to gather them in. I had all these tools, all this potential, but no clear direction. I didn’t know how to organize what I had, how to relate it to others, or even realize it was meant for me in the first place.
It wasn’t until my mid-30s that I began to see myself clearly. That chapter of my life cracked me open. And for that, I’m deeply grateful. The experiences I’ve had—some painful, some beautiful—have taught me more than any textbook ever could. I’ve lived through it, and I’m not afraid to share it.
Sometimes I hold back—not because I don’t know what to say—but because I can feel people’s energy. I can tell when someone isn’t truly listening, and I no longer waste energy trying to convince anyone who isn’t ready to receive. But when someone is ready? That’s where I shine my light from within.
I’ve come to realize that my purpose is to teach what I’ve lived. I’m a master creator, teacher, and healer. I don’t need to perfect in every area of life—but I know how to guide others into mastering their own. I bring clarity, direction, and inspiration to those who are ready to grow.
Now, as I move into my mid-40s, I feel a new purpose rising. This season of my life is about showing and teaching from the flame within. It’s about walking people through how to Love themselves to life—not just to survive, but to thrive. To live fully, freely, and with deep awareness of who they really are.
No NDE Needed
You don’t have to have a near-death experience to uncover your purpose. The truth is—your purpose has always been a part of you. It’s in who you’ve naturally been all along.
I invested time to look back over my life for the evidence. I’ve always been a counselor, a teacher, someone people come to and trust. Nothing about that has changed. At 15, I was mentoring others. At 11, I was already teaching Sunday school. The signs were always there.
Now, it’s your turn.
Start connecting the dots in your own life. Look back at who you’ve always been. Then, ask yourself:
Does this align with what I feel called to do today?
Am I honoring my natural gifts and truth?
If the answers don’t feel good—don’t judge it. That just means there’s more self-exploration to do. And that’s okay.
This is your time. Your time to rediscover, realign, and love yourself to life.
Thank you for reading the LovingYourselfToLife blog! Subscribe for more insights on self-love and building a connected community from the inside out, so you can live your life with purpose. We're all in this together—join the LovingYourselfToLife community to connect, support, and grow together like true neighbors!
Join Me For Our First Live Event!
Комментарии